Boardroom View

There’s No Recession of Rudeness - Why Business Manners Matter Even More

Joanne Davis, President, Joanne Davis Consulting
Apr 22 2008

In a down economy where individuals are trying harder to get jobs, consultants to get engagements, agencies and media companies to get clients and all kinds of firms to get customers, it's amazing how much rudeness exists.
It's also a rule of recession that the smartest, best and, yes, respectful players are the ones winning. It comes down to the seekers and those who are sought. Those who are sought suggest that the seekers consider their manners. Here is my primer for today's world of multiple communications.
 
 
1. Telephone Manners: The Numbers Game. Those who are sought, who have something to give, are getting bombarded with even more phone calls of help-seekers. Why do you think our voice mail says "please leave your name and phone number after the beep"? Because we just can't memorize everyone's number. And if we are listening to voice messages carrying luggage in an airport, how are we going to write it down? The calls I return first are to those who are respectful and leave their number -- much faster than having to look it up. After all, executives today are time starved. As one senior client friend of mine said, "when someone doesn't leave a phone number, he's saying my time is less important than his."
 
  
2. Voice Mail Manners: Don't Go So Beeping Fast. Why do so many callers persist in speeding up when they leave their phone numbers? On numerous occasions, I've had to play back the phone number three times.  It's particularly rude when the caller is a slow talker for the message, only to go into speed talk for the number. A good solution is what my lawyer's voice message says "Please leave your name and phone number and please slow down and not speed up with the number."
 
 
3. Cell Phone Manners: No, I Can't Hear You Now. Why do seeker people call you from cell phones when in bad cell zones and disconnect you?  If you want me to listen to you, call so that I can hear you. And if you're having a talk with me, please don't talk to others while on your cell phone.
 
 
4. Email Manners. Here's to Smart Specific Subject Lines. To paraphrase Dickens, "these are the best of times, these are the worst of times."  I love an e-mail with a clear subject line. "Your mother suggested I call you." Then I know the source of the referral and that it's someone legit who referred the contact. Don't e-mail senders know how many of us scan the in-box by looking at sender and subject line on a Blackberry? We'll open messages from senders we recognize and only open mail from unknown senders if the subject line gives us a reason for reading. And with hundreds of e-mails a day, why would I want to open an e-mail from a name I don't know with either no subject line or a subject line that says "Can you help?" It's even worse than spam. (At least if I read "grow three inches longer and thicker," I can immediately delete it.)
 
 
5. Follow-through Manners - Part One: An Elephant Never Forgets. I actually had a friend of a friend e-mail me and ask me for more job leads because she got a consulting project so she stopped networking. I wrote back to this seeker and asked what she did with the last three leads I gave her. She wrote back and said good idea -- she forgot.
 
 
 
6. Follow-up Manners - Part Two: Respecting The Request. When I tell someone to use my name when calling another person who could help him/her and ask them to let me know what happens, I mean it. Why waste my voice? I have a couple of people I'm helping who are terrific with quick e-mail reports. The seekers who don't call or ping are demonstrating their lack of follow-up and may not be helped as readily the next time. Remember: even a simple "thank you" goes a long way.
 
 
7. Advice-Seeking Manners: Don't Disagree. How about people who call seeking advice and then disagree with you? A friend asked me to help her recently laid-off brother. He spent most of his 20-year career at one company. The resume he sent me was a functional one that contained no results or accomplishments. When I suggested he should re-write the resume to make it results-oriented, he said "no one else has said to do that, I think it's a good resume." I subsequently learned he hadn't been to outplacement. He's been out of work for more than a year.
 
 
8. Manners for the Pursued: Just Do It or Hasta La Vista, Baby. Not returning phone calls is a tough one As one who is sought, I really do return every call I get -- that is, if you leave your phone number with sufficient clarity that I can get it. Too many people wimp out and don't return calls because they don't want to say no. You are doing yourself and the caller a favor just saying no -- it's both the polite thing to do and will also end the endless number of messages.
 
 
9. Manners for Quid Pro Quo: Matchmaker, Matchmaker. So many seekers are so self absorbed that they forget to ask how the person helping them is doing. I'm constantly surprised that people I'd expect to ask how I'm doing and if they can do anything to help me, don't, and people I don't expect to offer, do. (A little like Blanche DuBois and her faith in the kindness of strangers.) A former colleague is on the board of a fairly large company. She's called more than once asking me to play free headhunter yet goes cold when I ask her for a referral. It's always a good policy to try and "give back" when you are reaching out for help from others. Like all the protocol here? It's just "the right thing to do."